


the boy and the heartbroken shrine

by wreckedshoes



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: ALL THE ANGST, Angst, Domestic, Gyuhao, JunHao - Freeform, M/M, MinWon - Freeform, literally this is all angst, meanie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-10 19:18:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20856911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wreckedshoes/pseuds/wreckedshoes
Summary: In the very center of Seoul, covered by the vast forest and detached from the city life, lives a small shrine that has the ability to take away one’s dearest feelings of love.“You’ll lose the feeling of the person you love the most if you give it your most treasured item.”





	the boy and the heartbroken shrine

In the very center of Seoul, covered by the vast forest and detached from the city life, lives a small shrine that has the ability to take away one’s dearest feelings of love. 

The first incident was a girl who had stumbled upon the shrine. Her face was in tears and her heart was shattered. She gave her everything for her love, but was never reciprocated to the point it drove her to utter sadness. In her hand was a ragged teddy bear given to her by her loved one. It cherished her love and feelings, and along with it, she placed the bear into the shrine. 

“You’ll lose the feeling of the person you love the most if you give it your most treasured item.” Soonyoung says right before engulfing a full slice of cake. He was reading the news story about the latest person giving up their emotion of love to the shrine. It was a boy this time, throwing the shrine a knitted scarf after attending the wedding of the person he had held his feelings for. 

“It’s pretty sad these things happen so often, right Won?” Soonyoung asks with a mouthful of cake and frosting.

Wonwoo grimaces as he watches Soonyoung chew with pieces of crumbs and frosting around the man’s mouth. An image of a feasting hamster crosses his mind, but he doesn’t voice it out loud. “Do you not know how to eat properly?” He says instead, throwing a couple of napkins to his direction. 

Soonyoung takes the napkins and gladly wipes his mouth clean. Wonwoo wonders how Jihoon even puts up with Soonyoung, but then again when you’re deeply in love, nothing else matters. “Look what Jihoonie got me the other day!” Soonyoung exclaimed, picking up his bag and reveal a little Hamtaro keychain dangling from his zipper. Soonyoung smiles, eyes forming into his signature 10:10 smile. “He said it looks like me!”

Wonwoo chuckles. “He’s not wrong.” He replies with a small smile before sipping on his iced coffee as Soonyoung continued on how adorable the keychain is. He thought about the brown puppy keychain he had seen on display in the stationary shop down the street and he feels a jumpy tingle in his heart. It matches with Wonwoo’s keychain of a cartoon black cat he had attached to his phone. 

“You look like the cat!” Soonyoung jokes, pointing to the charm and Wonwoo smiles fondly.

“I’ve been told that a lot.” Wonwoo replies. 

It’s almost five in the afternoon and Wonwoo figures it’s time to head home. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?” He says, quickly gathering his things as he prepares to leave, not noticing the smile that had fallen off his best friend’s face.

Wonwoo exits the coffee shop and walks past the stationary shop with the puppy keychain and it only took him two seconds to stare at its adorable cartoon face with fluffy brown hair and its tongue sticking out for him to go into the shop and purchase it right away. 

When he arrives home, the living room is still dark. “Mingyu probably isn’t back yet.” Wonwoo says, checking his phone to see if he had gotten any messages; his cat keychain dangles in the air. He’s met with a blank screen, half-expecting Mingyu to text him, but it’s unlike him to do so. “When are you coming home?” Wonwoo texts him, watching the message blue bubble float underneath all the other blue ones under his name. He waits for a few minutes, before putting down his phone to start dinner.

When Wonwoo finally hears Mingyu arrive home, he was ecstatically wanting to see him right away, but as soon as Mingyu arrived, he was about to leave just as fast. “Wait, where are you going?” Wonwoo asks, voice soft and cautious. He watches as Mingyu grabs his keys and a light sweater, ignoring the question as he is already head towards the door. “Wait,” Wonwoo pleads and moves to swift place a gentle hold on Mingyu’s wrist. “Dinner's almost ready, where are you heading off to?”

“Out.” Mingyu answers lowly and Wonwoo bites his lips. He takes his wrist back from the older and before he could say anything else, Mingyu is already out the door.

It’s a usual occurrence and Wonwoo feels like he should be used to it by now.

Dinner ends with only a few bites in each dish. He knows he’s not the best cook like Mingyu is. But he tries. He’s been learning from all the cookbooks and recipes he had bought a while ago. Mingyu had always told him he was a bad cook, so Wonwoo figured it’d be best to learn to at least cook a batch of scrambled eggs that isn’t burnt. 

_ “When will you be coming home?” _

The apartment is quiet. There’s a slight chill that flow through the place, and Wonwoo wanders around the living room in circles, not knowing what he’s doing or where he’s going in the small flat.

🌹🌹🌹

Wonwoo never really had any experience with love. Sure, he had his family: a doting mother, a loving father, and a fun younger brother. But he never had someone whom he could call his significant other, someone who can love him wholesomely for who he is. 

He was a quiet boy, usually alone in school, rubbing his nose into any kind of large novel book he was reading and sliding up his round glasses every time they slid down the bridge of his nose.

His only best friend was a giant puppy. Kim Mingyu was a year younger than Wonwoo but one head taller than the latter. He was an energetic kid, a complete contrast to Wonwoo’s quiet persona. Although the older would never admit it, he loved having Mingyu by his side. He was his voice when he can’t talk to others and his conscience when he can’t make a decision.

“Don’t worry. One day when we get old, we’ll get married and live happily ever after.” Five year old Mingyu said to six year old Wonwoo. 

Wonwoo would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a flutter in his heart. 

There was always something about Mingyu’s touch that sent butterflies soaring through his stomach, like how his head always felt hot whenever Mingyu held his hand so that could go to school together or how Mingyu would come over sometimes to cook Wonwoo the most delicious meal when his parents were busy at work. 

“Don’t worry, I’m here for you.” Mingyu said and once again Wonwoo’s head felt dizzy at the statement. He just nodded as he ate the kimchi fried rice Mingyu made. The image of Mingyu smiling at him as he ate is something Wonwoo thinks he’ll never forget.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Mingyu said. He rushed the living room where his school bag was on the floor and he ran back with something in his fist. “I bought this for you!” It was a keychain with the face of a cartoon black cat with glasses. Mingyu giggled. “I thought it looked like you, so I bought it for you.”

Wonwoo took the keychain and examined it. It was incredibly adorable and he loved it. “Thank you, Mingyu. I love it.”

Mingyu smiled. “Whenever you’re sad, just look at the keychain and think about me. I’ll be your best friend forever.”

🌹🌹🌹

He doesn’t remember when his feelings really started to develop for the younger man, but it was probably a little before Mingyu had kissed him with a face full of tears and a heart full of pain after his tragic breakup. 

“Mingyu, we can’t do this,” Wonwoo pleaded. The situation wasn’t good for either of them. But when he saw Mingyu’s crying eyes and when he felt Mingyu’s shivering body, he lost all train of thought. “Mingyu-”

“Please,” Mingyu cried, hugging Wonwoo closer. “I need something. I need to  _ feel _ something.” He begged into Wonwoo’s chest. “It’s over. He doesn’t want to ever see me again.” It wasn’t the first time Mingyu had said that. He and Minghao fought often, even when they had first started dating. They weren’t really the perfectly matched couple. They had different mindsets and personalities that totally collided with their connection. But they were so in love it blinded them from everything.

“I loved him, Wonwoo. I loved him.” Mingyu sobbed into Wonwoo’s lap. They were sitting on his bed with Mingyu curled up into Wonwoo’s torso, sobbing into his clothed stomach. Wonwoo was trying to calm the younger down by the soft touches through Mingyu’s hair and the quiet shushes. He didn’t know what Minghao did this time, or maybe it was Mingyu who did something this time.

But all Wonwoo knew was that he was angry. He was angry at how Minghao held Wonwoo’s entire world in his hands and here Mingyu was, sobbing into his shirt. 

Wonwoo wanted to tell Mingyu to forget about Minghao. How Minghao didn’t deserve Mingyu. But he couldn’t. Because he knew Mingyu loved Minghao with everything he had. And Minghao felt the same way back.

He didn’t realize when the tears form in his own eyes as he tried to keep down his own small hiccups and sobs that were about to bubble out of his chest. “It’s going to be alright, Gyu.” He said so lowly but audible to the younger. He brought Mingyu up to his lips and kissed him breathlessly. 

“It’s going to be alright.”

🌹🌹🌹

“You’re back.” Wonwoo stands up when he sees Mingyu stumbling into their apartment. He gives the younger a smile, and Mingyu trades back with an icy look. His smile fades and he quickly goes to pour a glass of water for Mingyu.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Wonwoo asks, taking a seat across from Mingyu. 

He and Minghao have been having problems again. It’s the usual. At some point, their completely opposite personalities would collide into an argument and the only thing they share in common are their stubbornness and pride.

Mingyu gives Wonwoo a look and it shuts the older up. “Sorry,” Wonwoo says in a mere whisper as he backs up from his seat. He looks at Mingyu again. “I bought your favorite cookies.” Wonwoo says in hopes to cheer up the younger. He hustles to grab the unopened box from the cabinet and runs back to open it for Mingyu. He takes out the first wrapper and hands it to him which Mingyu silently takes it and Wonwoo. “I’ll leave the rest here if you want more.” 

Part of Wonwoo wants to walk away and let Mingyu breathe in peace, but the other part just wants to hug him tightly and show that there is at least someone in this world that cares for him.

He suddenly remembers the puppy keychain, and hoped that Mingyu would like it when he gives it to him. “Oh, I almost forgot. I bought this earlier coming home because it reminded me of–”

“Do you believe if the shrine myth is true?” Mingyu suddenly says, stopping Wonwoo in his tracks. He doesn’t look at him, instead plays with the cookie wrapper in between his index finger and his thumb.

“Sorry?” Wonwoo asks though he heard Mingyu’s question loud and clear. He doesn’t get a response, because he knows Mingyu doesn’t like to repeat himself and Wonwoo fidgets in his place. “I...I’m not sure?” Mingyu glares at him, not liking the answer and Wonwoo tries to reiterate himself. “I mean– maybe?’ Wonwoo corrects himself, voice high. “I don’t think someone would make that up for fun, not when it’s something that important…” He couldn’t look at Mingyu as he spoke, so instead he fixes his gaze to the floor, biting his bottom lip in concern. “Why- why are you asking me this?”

Mingyu stands up and Wonwoo watches as he walks closer to him. His eyes are dark and it feared Wonwoo the most. He gulps as Mingyu lifts up a fist, slowing unrevealing a small, golden locket. 

Wonwoo recognizes the small trinket. It was Mingyu’s anniversary gift to Minghao a couple of years ago. He must’ve given it back to Mingyu during their fight. “He doesn’t love me anymore.” Mingyu says slowly, staring softly at the locket. “There’s no point in having feelings for someone who would never love you back.” He’s staring into Wonwoo’s eyes and Wonwoo slowly lowers his hand with the keychain hidden behind his palm. 

“Wait, Mingyu,” Wonwoo pleads as he gently takes hold of the taller’s wrist. “Don’t do this. It’s not worth it. You shouldn’t give up something that’s as important as love…”

Mingyu doesn’t listen. Instead he throws away Wonwoo’s hold and leaves the apartment a second later. 

When Mingyu returns home, Wonwoo’s met with sad eyes and his fist gripping the locket. “I couldn’t do it.” He says. “I couldn’t bring myself to give him up.” He cries into Wonwoo’s chest who gently pats his back. 

“I know. It’s fine.” Wonwoo answers lightly. “It’s not you. Anyone would do anything for their first love.”

🌹🌹🌹

Breakups are hard, not that Wonwoo could really say he’d understand, but it must’ve hurt hearing from Seungkwan that Minghao had already found himself a new man. Jun was his name. He was a Chinese part time model and a dance instructor, something Mingyu couldn’t compete with.

Wonwoo made a side note to have Mingyu avoid Seungkwan as much as possible. That boy had too much gossip than his own good.

“Good morning,” Wonwoo greets when Mingyu walks out the bedroom. It isn’t the first time they had slept together. They shared the same bed many times when they were younger. “Breakfast?” Wonwoo isn’t much of a good cook as Mingyu so he feels a little embarrassed as he slips the scrambled eggs and slightly burnt toast onto Mingyu’s plate.

“I’m not hungry.” Mingyu says and Wonwoo bites his bottom lip. It’s been three weeks since his breakup and he hasn’t gotten any better even with Wonwoo’s best ways to cheer up his best friend. 

Wonwoo sits down next to him, sliding the breakfast closer towards the younger. “Gyu, you have to eat something.” His voice is low. He’s upset but he doesn’t want Mingyu to catch his tone.

It hurts Wonwoo to see his best friend at his current state. There is a small part of him aching and he doesn’t know if it’s from his feelings for Mingyu or wanting Mingyu to be happy with Minghao again.

But Wonwoo tries. He tries his best to at least get his best friend to smile again. He’d buy more treats for him, does his best to cook dinner, take Mingyu out for night walks where they go for ice cream, and have a chest for him to cry into at night. 

Sometimes he wish he had the courage to directly tell Mingyu to forget about Minghao, and date him instead. What does Minghao have that Wonwoo doesn’t? Truthfully speaking, Wonwoo found himself at least decently attractive, he has a great sense of humor, loves books, video games and movies, and he has a perfect height difference with Mingyu that people would deem “couple goals.”

Wonwoo smiles fondly as he brushes the dark bangs out of Mingyu’s sleeping eyes. His hair has grown a lot since the last time he got a haircut. He looks better with shorter hair, Wonwoo deems. The short hair brings out Mingyu’s handsome face, and his face should never be covered like it is now. 

“You’re perfect just the way you are,” Wonwoo whispers to himself and retracts his hand when Mingyu suddenly scrunches his nose. He holds his breath, not wanting Mingyu to wake up from his slumber. The younger slowly calms down, drifting back to sleep and Wonwoo smiles before he decides to finally get up for class. 

He does his morning routine, and then prepares breakfast. He had decided last night to make waffles, because Mingyu loves maple syrup, and it’s simple to make–until he accidentally burns the first one he makes. “Not quite what I was expecting.” Wonwoo comments to himself. But the third time was the charm and he lays the two perfectly golden waffles onto the table. 

Mingyu wakes up just in time and Wonwoo greets him with a bright smile. “Breakfast is ready.” Wonwoo says. “Do you want syrup or chocolate on your–” He doesn’t get to finish when Mingyu slams the bathroom door closed. Wonwoo sighs, trailing back into the bedroom to make the bed. He flattens the blankets and fluffs the pillows and lays Mingyu’s clothes for the day down on the bed. 

Today’s outfit is a plain white shirt, and a pair of black jeans. It’s a perfect combination and it compliments Mingyu’s build and height. “Oh, one more thing,” Wonwoo reminds himself. He listens to the bathroom sink turn on to quick grab the brown puppy keychain and lock it onto Mingyu’s bag. He smiles. It looks so much like Mingyu. He takes his phone and hangs his cat keychain side by side with the puppy. They’re even cuter as a pair, like they belonged together.

The bathroom door opens and Wonwoo immediately stands. He gulps to see Mingyu shirtless with wet hair walking out of the bathroom. “Here, I have your outfit ready–”

“When were you going to tell me that Minghao already has a new boyfriend?’ Mingyu’s voice cuts him. Wonwoo freezes in his spot, holding the shirt and jeans close to his chest like they’re the only things protecting him. He couldn’t stare into Mingyu’s eyes, only wonder how he could’ve figured it out when he tried his best to prevent Mingyu from coming any contact with Seungkwan or gossip. 

“I...I wasn’t trying to hide–”

“So you did know?”

Wonwoo startles. He finally looks into Mingyu’s eyes and he can only nod. “It’s not that I was trying to hide it from you. I just thought you needed time for yourself and–”

“And what? Spend my time closed with you?”

Ouch, that hurt.

Mingyu scoffs. “Did you really think I wouldn’t be able to find out about this? You claim you’re my best friend, but you wouldn’t even tell me this? That’s a little close-minded, don’t you think?” His words pierce him like daggers and Wonwoo can already feel the brim of tears already forming in the back of his eyes. Mingyu sighs. “If Minghao already has someone new, then I suppose it’s only smart I should too.’

Wonwoo looks at him with confused eyes. “What do you mean?” He asks carefully and watches as Mingyu walks closer to him. Wonwoo holds his breath, staring into Mingyu’s dark eyes until he can smell his strong scent. 

“It means you’re going to help me get Minghao back.”

🌹🌹🌹

Wonwoo feels Mingyu’s hand tightened on his waist. They were standing in front of the cafe. He looks to his side to stare at the younger’s profile, hoping if they can back out in this situation. “Stick with the plan,” Mingyu hisses lowly, coldly side-eyeing him, “And don’t you dare mess up.”

Wonwoo silently complies, fixing his glasses on his nose and gripping on the strap of his bag tightly before Mingyu leads him inside the cafe. They were walking to Minghao. He looks different from the few times Wonwoo had last seen him. His used to be red hair is now silverish and styled perfectly. Wonwoo remembers Minghao is a fashion student, so that would explain his dandy fashion sense. Frankly, the sight of Minghao made Wonwoo question his own appearance. 

Next to Minghao, is a man that is probably his new boyfriend. Jun, Wonwoo recalls. As a model, he’s just as handsome as Wonwoo had expected, though definitely not as attractive as Mingyu, he thinks. 

“Oh, you’re finally here,” Minghao says when he sees Mingyu. He pulls him into a friendly hug and gestures to Jun. “This is Jun, my boyfriend.”

Jun stands and Wonwoo is surprised he’s almost the same height as Mingyu. “Nice to meet you, Mingyu.” He says with a deep voice. 

Mingyu shakes Jun’s hand with a smile that Wonwoo could tell was far from genuine. ‘Nice to meet you too. And this,” He looks at Wonwoo, “is my boyfriend, Wonwoo.”

It wasn’t true. But it still made Wonwoo’s heart flutter. 

“Nice to meet you.” Wonwoo says and he catches Minghao’s smile before they all sit down except Mingyu. 

“I’ll go get our orders, alrighty, babe?” Mingyu says, leaning down to press his lips against Wonwoo’s temple. His heart jumps and he takes in Mingyu’s smile and nods quietly.  _ Do not forget the plan _ , he hears Mingyu’s voice in his head.

“So Wonwoo,” Minghao begins once Mingyu is standing in line. He smiles at Wonwoo and swirls his latte. “How are you? I haven’t seen you since– well, since the last time I saw you.” He chuckles.

“Oh, uh,” Wonwoo stares down at the cafe and fixes his glasses. “I’m good. Mingyu’s good too.” He doesn’t know what to say. He wasn’t one for improvising. 

“I’m happy you two are together.” Minghao says. “I was surprised Mingyu would schedule a double date considering our history together, but I’m glad he has you by his side.”

It’s unfair, Wonwoo thinks. It’s unfair how nice and pure Minghao is to him. And it’s unfair how much Jun loves Minghao. This is the first time they met, but Jun is such a happy-go-lucky person who likes to crack jokes and laugh and smile and kiss Minghao. 

He didn’t know how to act with Mingyu. 

It was hard to act like they’ve been a couple for months when Wonwoo barely has the confidence to even look at the younger. But Mingyu, he had no hesitation. He smiled at Wonwoo from time to time, he fed him a piece of cake and asked if it was delicious, he put his hand on top of his own and Wonwoo felt the warmth of his palm, and he pecked his cheeks a couple of times– all in front of Minghao.

“It’s getting late,” Minghao says, his hand wrapped around Jun’s arm as he smiled at Mingyu and Wonwoo. “Jun and I are going to head back home. It was nice to see you again, Gyu. I’m glad we can still stay friends.”

“It’s cool,” is Mingyu’s only response but the grip on Wonwoo’s hand tells him differently. “We should do this again soon.”

Minghao smiles. “Sure, it was fun. How about we go to the upcoming fair together next week? That is, if it’s fine with you guys.”

Wonwoo is about to speak, but Mingyu beats him to it. “Yeah sure, Wonwoo and I were planning to go anyway, weren’t we, babe?”

Wonwoo stares into Mingyu’s eyes as he waits for a response. “Yes,” he says. “We were.”

Minghao smiles one last time and say their goodbyes before they disappear around the corner. Wonwoo waits for a few minutes, and he lets out a breath like he’s been holding in for the past few hours. 

He turns to Mingyu. “What do we do–” Mingyu immediately drops his hand and Wonwoo almost falls back from the sudden force. “Mingyu?” He calls, quickly following behind the younger. His hand feels much colder now, no matter how much he digs them into his pockets. Mingyu’s silent as he walks and Wonwoo figures it’s for the best. 

They pass by an advertisement stand with a photo of the Shrine. Wonwoo wonders if the Shrine looks just as pretty in real life as it does in the photo.

When they arrive home, Mingyu sighs as he sits down on the couch and Wonwoo watches carefully from the distance. “Why can’t you do one thing right?” Mingyu says and the older startles at the sudden question. “All you had to do was act like we’ve been dating for months, but you were like a kicked kitten every time I looked at you.”

“I’m sorry…” Wonwoo says, staring back down onto the floor. He should mop it tomorrow; it’s getting a little dirty. “I’ll try harder next time…”

Mingyu stands and walks towards the older, gripping his face by his cheeks so that his lips jut out like a fish. “You better.” Mingyu hisses. “It’s the only way I can get Minghao back. You need to act like we’re madly in love so we can make him regret ever breaking up with me and after that, he’ll come back to me. Do you understand?”

Wonwoo nods, cheeks hurting from Mingyu’s squeeze on them. When he lets go, he can still feel the sting throbbing on his cheeks and watches as Mingyu walks always into the bedroom. 

Wonwoo lives by his promise. The next few dates, he got comfortable being Mingyu’s pretend boyfriend. He figured if he can’t be Mingyu’s real boyfriend, might as well take this chance even if it’s fake. He held his hand with Mingyu’s as if he’s held it a million times, and when he laughs, he rests his head on Mingyu’s shoulder and enjoys the comfortable warmth of it against his temple, and when they walk, he would link their arms and smile at the taller like he’s the light of his world (which he is). 

He tried his best to play along as Mingyu’s boyfriend so well, and Wonwoo wishes that Mingyu would at least tell him he did a good job, or at least give him a smile after they return home, but after every date is the same with the sudden change when Minghao leaves with Mingyu detaching himself from Wonwoo’s hold and leaving him with silence. 

“Where are you going?” Wonwoo asks when Mingyu suddenly comes out the bedroom, grabbing his hoodie off the hanger. “Dinner’s done, don’t you want to eat first?” He asks, gesturing to the food he had just cooked. He had made Mingyu’s favorite cream pasta (took a few tries but he got it). 

“Out.” Mingyu answers and Wonwoo holds back a whine. 

“But I made–” Wonwoo stops at Mingyu’s icy look. “When are you coming back? I’ll wrap it so you can eat it later.”

“Minghao texted me.” Mingyu says. Wonwoo doesn’t move. “He wants to talk to me. I think this might be it.” There’s a light that runs across Mingyu’s eyes and it’s the first time in a long while Wonwoo had seen those eyes; those eyes that would never look at him the same way. He doesn’t say anything and Mingyu leave. 

Throughout the time of Mingyu’s absence, Wonwoo sits lifelessly on the couch. His dinner wasn’t touched; he wasn’t hungry. He stares at the blank wall, wondering how perfectly white it stayed considering it hadn’t been regularly cleaned. The apartment feels cold and lonely, and Wonwoo wonders how long he can keep this up.

He wonders what life would be like if he never had feelings for Mingyu. Would he still find his smile handsome? His personality adorable? His love for Minghao incredible? What does Minghao have that he doesn’t? 

He doesn’t know how long time had past until Mingyu arrives home at three in the morning with bloodshot eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. “Mingyu,” Wonwoo calls. He wants to walk to the man and hug him, but Mingyu glares at him.

“Don’t take a step closer.” Mingyu growls. Wonwoo bites his bottom lip. “You’re the last person on this earth I want to see right now.” 

Something in Wonwoo breaks, but he holds it in. 

🌹🌹🌹

Mingyu’s running a high fever one day and Wonwoo’s running around the flat trying anything to help calm the younger down. He’s having trouble breathing as he lay in bed and Wonwoo wipes the seat off Mingyu’s forehead with a damp towel. He had taken his medicine but his fever was so high, it only took a little effect.

Wonwoo hushes Mingyu when he starts groaning in his sleep. He places a hand on Mingyu’s forehead and for once he’s thankful he had perpetually cold hands because Mingyu started to relax under his touch. “You’re going to be okay,” Wonwoo whispers. “Just rest.”

Mingyu continues to groan. “Minghao,” he says and Wonwoo tenses in his spot. “I want to see Minghao.”

Wonwoo swallows down his pride. “Gyu, you’re sick right now. You need to rest.” He begs and Mingyu starts to thrash about until he gets tired and finally falls asleep. Wonwoo lets out a shaky sigh. He should prepare some soup for Mingyu when he wakes up.

There was a time when Wonwoo had fallen severely sick when he was younger. He gets chronicle sickness often. Perhaps it was in his genes, but he tended to catch the flu and other sickness often. And each time, Mingyu would cook his famous Get-Well-Soon chicken soup that always seemed to cure him.

The problem is, Wonwoo doesn’t know how to make it. He decides to settle with the normal chicken soup and tries his best to match it up with Mingyu’s recipe. He finishes it just in time when Mingyu wakes up, and Wonwoo carries a tray with the bowl of soup, a glass of water, and a medicine packet for him to take afterwards. But Mingyu refuses to eat, no matter how much Wonwoo begs him. 

Mingyu’s head is clouded, Wonwoo knows that. He’s sick so it’s difficult to act, but Wonwoo tries his best to get Mingyu to at least take the medicine. “I don’t want this!” Mingyu shouts, throat hoarse and coughing. “I don’t want you! I want Minghao!” 

Wonwoo couldn’t tell if Mingyu was crying because he’s sick, or he devastatingly misses Minghao. But either way, he’s broken to the point Wonwoo finally decides to call Minghao over to their apartment.

Minghao’s different from the last time Wonwoo had last seen him (come to think about it, they haven’t gone on any double dates after the day Mingyu had met with Minghao privately). He’s greeted by a not-so happy look from the Chinese man Wonwoo had invited into their apartment. 

“He won’t eat.” Wonwoo explains to Minghao. “I’ve tried everything. His fever is so high right now, if it gets any higher, I’m afraid he’ll have to go to the hospital.” Minghao stands silent as he examines the soup. He takes a spoon and tries a little bit of it, before his expression grimaces.

“You call this soup?” Minghao says and the room goes silent. Wonwoo nods. Minghao sighs. “It tastes like lukewarm water. There’s practically nothing in it.” He adds before heading to the kitchen to start cooking. Wonwoo watches at the side, in both awe and slightly jealousy and how well Minghao cooks. He made the soup in no time, and a side of fried vegetables on a small plate. 

“You have to give it to him.” Wonwoo says, refusing to take the tray. “He…He won’t eat it if it’s from me…” 

Minghao stares, and then sighs as he walks past Wonwoo and into the bedroom. He closes the door and Wonwoo can hear their faint voices.

“Minghao...?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

When Minghao exits the room, Wonwoo immediately stands from fumbling his fingers on the couch. He looks at Minghao, but afraid to ask anything. “He’ll be fine. He’s asleep.” Minghao says. “His fever went down after eating.”

“How did you do it?”

Mingha shrugs. “Traditional Chinese remedy.” He answers and Wonwoo nods, relieved to hear Mingyu will be fine. But Minghao wasn’t finished speaking. “Why are you like this?” He suddenly asks.

Wonwoo perks up at the question. “I’m sorry?”

“You’re weak.” Minghao says. “I’m disappointed you couldn’t even get Mingyu to eat. Can you do anything besides acting like you’re totally unhelpful?” Wonwoo doesn’t know where his questions were coming from, but he silently agreed with Minghao’s words. Perhaps that’s the difference between them. Minghao is strong headed. He does his best to get what he wants, and he doesn’t let anything get in his way. 

“I just…” Wonwoo fumbles with his fingers under his sweater paws. “I do try my best, but my best isn’t good enough for Mingyu…”

Minghao sighs. “The recipe for the soup is on the counter. I won’t be coming by anymore.” He says. “I wasn’t planning to tell you this but,” he hesitates. “I’m moving back to China, with Jun. Tonight.”

Wonwoo’s eyes widen at the Chinese man. Minghao is moving back? But what about Mingyu? Does Mingyu know? Why is this happening? 

“Mingyu doesn’t know.” Minghao says. “And I don’t plan on telling him. The two of us should have parted ways a long time ago, but as usual, things never go the way we want.”

“But...but…”

“It’s up to you to take care of him.” Minghao says. “It can’t be me.”

“But it has to be you!” Wonwoo suddenly shouts, startling Minghao. He lowers his voice, remembering Mingyu is asleep. “It can’t be me. It’ll never be me. He...He loves you! Don’t you see that?”

There’s a long silence and Wonwoo wonders how much time had passed. Perhaps two hours, or maybe two minutes. Minghao sighs. “Then that’s something the both of you have to deal with.” He leaves just like that, leaving Wonwoo panicking in his own mind, his hand gripping his phone as his keychain floats in the air. 

🌹🌹🌹

Mingyu’s fever went away within a day and he looks as healthy as ever. He walks out of the bedroom and Wonwoo carefully touches the younger’s forehead, relieved to feel it back to normal temperature. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” Wonwoo smiles. “But you should rest some more.”

“Minghao was here, wasn’t he.” Mingyu says, staring down at Wonwoo who was staring back with wide eyes. “Was he or was he not?”

“He was,” Wonwoo answers. “He made you the soup.”

“I thought I was dreaming, but it really was him…” Mingyu says to himself. “I need to see him. I need to talk with him.” He was hasty, already grabbing his coat so he run out the door before Wonwoo stopped him with all his strength. Mingyu doesn’t move. “Wonwoo. Let go of me.”

A tear falls down the older’s cheeks as he rests his forehead into Mingyu’s back. “Please Gyu,” He begs lowly. “Minghao is gone…” He feels Mingyu’s muscles tighten at the words. His silence lets Wonwoo continue. “He moved back to China last night…” 

There’s a sniffle, and then Mingyu starts to sob. “Why didn’t you stop him.” He asks, feeling Wonwoo’s arm loosen. 

“I did try to stop him. I told him you love him, and that you need him here with you. But it was no use, no matter how hard I tried–”

“You should’ve tried harder!” Mingyu shouts, turning around so he can face Wonwoo. His eyes were flaring with anger and tears. “You always try and try, but you never get anything done. You can’t do this, you can’t do that, you can’t cook, you can’t act, seriously, when will you just give up?” The words felt like daggers that stabbed into Wonwoo’s chest and with each more, it twists and twists until there’s nothing there. He holds Wonwoo’s shoulder and makes him stare into his eyes. “When will you understand that I  _ don’t love you? _ ” 

That’s the final blow. 

“You just so hard, but there’s no point. I can’t  _ stand being with you. _ ”

Everything else is a blur after those words. Mingyu kept shouting but Wonwoo couldn’t hear anything else. The last piece of his heart just shattered and now he feels like there’s an empty void inside his chest floating around inside his body. He’s staring at Mingyu, but all he sees is a blank white space and all he hears is white noise. Mingyu leaves in a fury, and just like that, everything is done.

Days go by and Mingyu avoided Wonwoo at all costs. Only this time, Wonwoo doesn’t reach out to him. He feels tired, like he hadn't slept for days, and his body felt as heavy as a ton of bricks. He couldn’t bring himself to eat. He had lost the one thing he didn’t want to lose in the first place. 

Himself.

His phone rings messages of his worried friends, all left unanswered. There was no point in answering messages he had no answer to. 

Something chimes when Wonwoo puts his phone down. It’s his cat keychain, smiling at him like it’s been the only thing supporting him since forever. There’s several scratches on it here and there, and some spots of black have faded to white. 

All good things will come to an end, was Wonwoo’s first thought. His second thought was how much a bus fare would cost to take him to the center of Seoul.

🌹🌹🌹

Wonwoo couldn’t remember the last time he had taken a bus ride. Being stuck on campus all day and even more stuck in his apartment, he forgot how nice the weather is, and how bright the streets are. There are more people he expected in some places, and less people he expected in other places. Everything seems so much different than he remembered.

He brought some books with him, some about philosophy and how the world works, some about science and flowers, and some about fairy tales with princes and princesses. He suddenly jolt of familiarity reminded how much how he loved reading. He used to read so much, he used to crave for more knowledge and more imagination. 

He read so much on the bus that he had almost missed his stop. It’s gotten dark and Wonwoo figures it’s best to find a place to spend the night. He finds a nearby motel and thank goodness he hadn’t forgotten his wallet before his journey. 

The motel room is small, but comfy– cute actually with a small desk, a fairly large bed, a mini fridge, and a painting of a rose hung by the curtains. It’s almost as if it was a little room hidden away by magic. 

He spends the night peacefully for the first time in forever. The bed was comfy. He loved curling himself into the blanket and not thinking about wanting to hold someone to sleep.

And when morning came, he’s greeted by birds singing on his windowsill. The day seemed much brighter here than in his apartment, Wonwoo thinks when he checks out of his room. He believes he’s in the middle of somewhere in Seoul, but everything seemed like the countryside to him. 

The road had no cars, so Wonwoo took the time walking on the empty streets and staring at the different kinds of flowers along the path until the road shifts, and he’s met by a sudden change in the road.

Standing right in front of him is the thing he had been searching for on this journey, the Shrine. It’s just as pretty as Wonwoo had imagined. It’s a plain old shrine, but it had a red glow and a pretty shine. 

“Are you looking for the Shrine?” A sudden voice asks from the side. 

Wonwoo comes face to face with a young girl around his own age, holding a teddy bear. She smiles at Wonwoo and he smiles back without hesitation. “Do you know what this Shrine is?” She asks and Wonwoo is about to speak, but he retracts himself. Does he know what this Shrine is? What if it’s just some old normal shrine? 

The girl giggles. “It’s called the Heartbroken Shrine. See the little wooden box there? If you place an item given to you by someone that you cherish into the box, then you’ll give away your feelings for that person.” She explains, her smile still soft. “Are you willing to give up your love for this person?”

Wonwoo stares at her, and then at the kitten keychain in his hands. He doesn’t even realize he had taken it off his phone. If he placed the keychain into the box, then he’ll lose his feelings for Mingyu. 

“The Shrine won’t force you.” The girl continues. “After all, it is just a shrine. Whether you want to give up your item is your choice. A few weeks ago, a boy had given up a knitted scarf to the shrine and gave up his feelings, but the boy after that couldn’t give up his trinket and still left with his feelings.” 

Wonwoo holds the keychain to his chest. He smiles. “This keychain means a lot to me.” He finally speaks. “It taught me about friendship, trust, and love. And it taught me pain and sorrow. This keychain is who I am as a person. Which is why,” the girl watches as Wonwoo steps closer to the Shrine, “I have to give it up. It was my love for this person that pained him. If I give up my feelings, then it might finally make him happy. I won’t have any regrets. After all, I’ve already given up everything. There’s no more ‘try,’ I’m just going to do this.”

He opens up the small wooden box and places the keychain inside. It’s empty, as if it was made only for him. He closes the box and stands there. There’s silence.

“Is something supposed to happen?” Wonwoo asks the girl who shakes her head. “No light? No sparkles? Fireworks?”

The girl laughs loudly. “Everyone asks that.” She says, smiling. “But no, there’s no show. The deed is done. You should go home now.” 

Wonwoo blinks at her and then turns to the box but to only see nothing but the road he was walking on. The Shrine was gone. And so was everything else. Wonwoo wonders if the power of the Shrine even worked. He wanted to see if his keychain is still there, but then again, he didn’t want to see. 

He feels like a heavy weight had finally lifted from his shoulders and that he can finally breathe heavenly again. He doesn’t think about anything else, not even when he returned home to his apartment and Mingyu stares at him with wide eyes.

“You’re back.” Mingyu says and Wonwoo nods, staring at the man in front of him. “Are...are you hungry? I just made dinner.” Mingyu says softly, gesturing to the several deliciously looking dishes spread on the table.

Wonwoo stares at the food, and then back at Mingyu. “It’s fine. I’m not hungry.” He says with a smile because it worked. 

He no longer loved Mingyu. 

**Author's Note:**

> yikes all the angst but yes all the angst i feel alive  
there might be a followup but who knows ;)
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/wreckedshoes)  



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